So I'm home alone again and I haven't 'hopped on the treadmill' or any such nonsense OBVIOUSLY. More likely I hopped into bed. I was shattered because baby had a bad night and I spent most of the night awake, and then when I finally did drop off he woke up again at 6am full of beans.
Good news is I weighed myself (I know I know I said I wouldn't) ad I'm 82.9 kilos, this means I'm only three kilos away from my pre pre pregnancy weight. That isn't a typo, I mean I was 79 kilos for years and then we decided to try for a baby, and I'd read that statically it's easier to get pregnant if you're neither overweight nor underweight and so I worked really hard and lost 10 kilos, then immediately I fell pregnant!
So, although my dream weight is 69 kilos, seeing as I was 79 for ages that'd be good too. at least as a start...
Managing to control myself as far as eating goes, practically skipped lunch today as was working from 1pm til 8:30pm and didn't suffer too much.
still feeling pretty positive.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
I feeeel good neneneneNE
I knew that I would now!
Nothing special has happened, I haven't weighed myself or managed to get into my size 12 jeans. I just feel GOOD! I think it'ds because I'm successfully managing to avoid exercise (joke) I mean bad eating habits. Eating kilos of salad, cottage cheese and fruit, and I DO feel slimmer and more optomistic.
Yesterday went to a birthday party for a 1 year old, which was thankfully quite healthy. They had chosed an Arabic menu which was also delicious! Vegetarian couscous, totally yummy, flat bread with local honey, dates stuffed with almonds and little biscuits filled with dates and ground pistachio. I did eat about 5 biscuits whilst waiting for the couscous to get served...
Halfway through the party a truly tropical storm started and we got drenched! So at grandma's house I put on an old pair of my husband's jeans and have to admit they were a little tight. However the positive thing is I had to stop eating because I felt sick with them on. Very lucky, because for those of you who know from previous posts, my Mother-in-law is a goddess in the kitchen and in typical Italian style keeps piling dishes magically onto the table from the fridge which act as if it's the wardrobe in 'The Chronicles of Narnia'.
A good thing did happen though when I tried to put on a pair of exercise pants I'd hidden at the back of the drawer because this time I actually managed to get them over my thighs and on! I really hope I'm on my way. I accept soon I'll have to start exercising too, but it feels more 'doable' now I have three mornings a week to myself. When I don't have students I can hop on the treadmill or have a bounce on my rebounder or even skip for a bit! And I will! Honestly, truly.
Nothing special has happened, I haven't weighed myself or managed to get into my size 12 jeans. I just feel GOOD! I think it'ds because I'm successfully managing to avoid exercise (joke) I mean bad eating habits. Eating kilos of salad, cottage cheese and fruit, and I DO feel slimmer and more optomistic.
Yesterday went to a birthday party for a 1 year old, which was thankfully quite healthy. They had chosed an Arabic menu which was also delicious! Vegetarian couscous, totally yummy, flat bread with local honey, dates stuffed with almonds and little biscuits filled with dates and ground pistachio. I did eat about 5 biscuits whilst waiting for the couscous to get served...
Halfway through the party a truly tropical storm started and we got drenched! So at grandma's house I put on an old pair of my husband's jeans and have to admit they were a little tight. However the positive thing is I had to stop eating because I felt sick with them on. Very lucky, because for those of you who know from previous posts, my Mother-in-law is a goddess in the kitchen and in typical Italian style keeps piling dishes magically onto the table from the fridge which act as if it's the wardrobe in 'The Chronicles of Narnia'.
A good thing did happen though when I tried to put on a pair of exercise pants I'd hidden at the back of the drawer because this time I actually managed to get them over my thighs and on! I really hope I'm on my way. I accept soon I'll have to start exercising too, but it feels more 'doable' now I have three mornings a week to myself. When I don't have students I can hop on the treadmill or have a bounce on my rebounder or even skip for a bit! And I will! Honestly, truly.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Fat = protection?
I didn't manage to get my tush out of bed and get out for a walk. In fact I stayed in all day today. I was doing heavy duty housework though. Moving heavy furniture and exterminating the ants' nest which was hidden behind my dresser full of pots and pans. This exercise also gave me the ideal opportunity to sort out a cupboard in which I have been hoarding beauty and slimming products. OUT fake tan spray, OUT glittery sun tan cream, OUT cloggy mascara. But I did dust off my slimming clay, now I have a little more time to myself I should be able to fit that in once a week, I rediscovered a cellulite massage roller and cream which I will start using morning and evening too. Why not? Otherwise I might as well chuck it out.
I feel like this 'clean and clear' is rejuvenating, energising. It must be linked to the reasons I let myself put on too much weight in the first place. It's so clear to me that being fat, for me, is totally tied up in not caring about myself, not loving myself. I was fat as a teenager too, and that happened when I lost my self esteem. I started to pig out on chocolate and snacks and just got bigger and bigger. I have been a yo-yo dieter all my life when I look back. Puberty and going on the pill at 16 took its toll on my figure, depression stepped in at 18 and it wasn't until I was 20something I found the gym and started to find myself. When I got depressed I stopped eating and lost weight in an unhealthy way, but was unable to keep it off, naturally. It also meant when I met guys interested in me I didn't trust them because I knew that they would have never shown an interest when I was fat.
Now it's different, this fat is complacency. I'm married, I've got a beautiful little boy and I feel good! Good enough to let myself go, secure might be a better word. And it's not positive. That's what I mean about tidying out my cupboards. Let go of all that junk, you are secure in the world, you don't need to hold on to that old crap, nor your fat. You are divinely protected and loved and you don't need cushions of fat to protect you, nor do you need useless stuff clogging up your life.
I feel like this 'clean and clear' is rejuvenating, energising. It must be linked to the reasons I let myself put on too much weight in the first place. It's so clear to me that being fat, for me, is totally tied up in not caring about myself, not loving myself. I was fat as a teenager too, and that happened when I lost my self esteem. I started to pig out on chocolate and snacks and just got bigger and bigger. I have been a yo-yo dieter all my life when I look back. Puberty and going on the pill at 16 took its toll on my figure, depression stepped in at 18 and it wasn't until I was 20something I found the gym and started to find myself. When I got depressed I stopped eating and lost weight in an unhealthy way, but was unable to keep it off, naturally. It also meant when I met guys interested in me I didn't trust them because I knew that they would have never shown an interest when I was fat.
Now it's different, this fat is complacency. I'm married, I've got a beautiful little boy and I feel good! Good enough to let myself go, secure might be a better word. And it's not positive. That's what I mean about tidying out my cupboards. Let go of all that junk, you are secure in the world, you don't need to hold on to that old crap, nor your fat. You are divinely protected and loved and you don't need cushions of fat to protect you, nor do you need useless stuff clogging up your life.
Friday, September 20, 2013
motivation level is high
I thought I'd try and discipline myself to blogging more, at least 5 times a week if possible, it might keep up my motivation, knowing I'm going to check in to my blog.
Today I was all on my lonesome as hubby took baby to nursery and then went to work on our land and they're both sleeping up at Granma's tonight 'cos tomorrow he's got an early start and I've got students.
If you don't know me personally you might be interested to know I'm an English teacher, I teach privately and although I didn't expect it when I did my teaching certificate, I love my job. I count myself really lucky, I get to stay at home and work with lovely people (mostly) and my job is satisfying and fulfilling.
The down side for my figure is it's totally sedentary. I used to work in my shop and every day walked there and back, sometimes four times a day which clocked up around 5 kilometres. nowadays the most exercise I get is a walk to the supermarket, unless I get my bod out of bed and go for a walk-jog-run-shuffle (please see previous posts for details).
Unfortunately I hurt my achilles tendon over the summer and I'm a bit wary of overdoing it, although if I wake up early tomorrow I will get my butt down to the seafront to clear the cobwebs, take it easy but at least wibble wobble a bit more.
Do you ever wonder where other people buy their clothes? I seem to have trouble finding jeans to fit, I mean I know I'm big, but this morning on my trek to the supermarket there were two ladies in front of me who were amply proportioned, I would swear they have bigger bums than mine, although it made me wonder actually, seeing as obviously you can't really appreciate how big it is unless someone walks behind you and videos it...not a pretty thought! So I'm wondering where do all these big ladies shop? Is it just me? Or am I bigger than I like to believe...
It's a kind of cold comfort when you see someone bigger than you, I mentally ask myself how I measure up in comparison and although a grim satisfaction seeps in when I decide I'm NOT that fat, a little voice breaks through my subconcious asking 'how long 'til you ARE?'. And that's why I have to stop this onwards march towards sure doom. I realised I really don't want to be sixty and still harping on about diets. I managed to stop smoking, I stopped drinking coffee which I NEVER could have imagined, I have a jar of unopened Nutella in the cupboard and three bars of chocolate which twenty years ago was unthinkable. If I can achieve that, then why not the ultimate self sacrifice in order to live life better?
Today I managed to stick to eating little portions, even at supper when I had fresh pasta and homemade ragu, I had fruit afterwards oh yes and a blob of ice-cream which had been rattling around the freezer with noone to talk to. I've started drinking low alchohol beer to still enjoy a drink but cut down on the calories. And I consider it a major success that I got round the supermarket without putting gorgozola, olives, wine or ice cream into my basket.
Here I come in my size 12 jeans!!!
Today I was all on my lonesome as hubby took baby to nursery and then went to work on our land and they're both sleeping up at Granma's tonight 'cos tomorrow he's got an early start and I've got students.
If you don't know me personally you might be interested to know I'm an English teacher, I teach privately and although I didn't expect it when I did my teaching certificate, I love my job. I count myself really lucky, I get to stay at home and work with lovely people (mostly) and my job is satisfying and fulfilling.
The down side for my figure is it's totally sedentary. I used to work in my shop and every day walked there and back, sometimes four times a day which clocked up around 5 kilometres. nowadays the most exercise I get is a walk to the supermarket, unless I get my bod out of bed and go for a walk-jog-run-shuffle (please see previous posts for details).
Unfortunately I hurt my achilles tendon over the summer and I'm a bit wary of overdoing it, although if I wake up early tomorrow I will get my butt down to the seafront to clear the cobwebs, take it easy but at least wibble wobble a bit more.
Do you ever wonder where other people buy their clothes? I seem to have trouble finding jeans to fit, I mean I know I'm big, but this morning on my trek to the supermarket there were two ladies in front of me who were amply proportioned, I would swear they have bigger bums than mine, although it made me wonder actually, seeing as obviously you can't really appreciate how big it is unless someone walks behind you and videos it...not a pretty thought! So I'm wondering where do all these big ladies shop? Is it just me? Or am I bigger than I like to believe...
It's a kind of cold comfort when you see someone bigger than you, I mentally ask myself how I measure up in comparison and although a grim satisfaction seeps in when I decide I'm NOT that fat, a little voice breaks through my subconcious asking 'how long 'til you ARE?'. And that's why I have to stop this onwards march towards sure doom. I realised I really don't want to be sixty and still harping on about diets. I managed to stop smoking, I stopped drinking coffee which I NEVER could have imagined, I have a jar of unopened Nutella in the cupboard and three bars of chocolate which twenty years ago was unthinkable. If I can achieve that, then why not the ultimate self sacrifice in order to live life better?
Today I managed to stick to eating little portions, even at supper when I had fresh pasta and homemade ragu, I had fruit afterwards oh yes and a blob of ice-cream which had been rattling around the freezer with noone to talk to. I've started drinking low alchohol beer to still enjoy a drink but cut down on the calories. And I consider it a major success that I got round the supermarket without putting gorgozola, olives, wine or ice cream into my basket.
Here I come in my size 12 jeans!!!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Secret dieter
Shhh! I'm trying again. It's an addiction. I'm embarassed about my inability to lose weight, my insufficient blogging and my general failure. So even though I've decided to carry on writing and letting it all hang out both figuratively and, unfortunately,actually, I want to let you know that you shouldn't expect great things from me or this blog. Don't start to read it hoping it will motivate you to lose weight, get fit or become sexier. Move on to the next one if that's what you're looking for. This is no place for genuine go getters!
Let's just keep it low key, just between you, me and the garden post. I haven't even told my husband, I'm just trying to eat less daily and waiting for the fat to decide there's a better place to hang out. Preferably on someone else's chin, thighs, buttocks...
In the meantime, my game plan is this, eat everything I want but a lot less of it.
For example I started weighing my pasta the other day, I'd heard a dieting 40 yr old woman (sigh) should have a portion weighing 50grams. Try it, put 50 grammes of pasta on the scales.
It is depressing, and scary to realise I''ve been used to eating four times that amount and now I started to wonder how will I survive? Well I bulked up on the pasta sauce, all made by me so I know there's no added sugar, salt or fat in fact my hubby already guessed I was back on the dieting wagon because the pasta sauce tasted 'insipid'. He gave me a meaningful look and said, 'You're going to tell me your back on a diet again aren't you?' I replied haughtily, 'I'm not going to tell you.' by which I mean literally don't worry your pretty little head I won't bore you with the humdrum details which torture me every waking moment.
Seriously though I realised it's been years since I've actually felt hunger, I mean that empty growling feeling in your stomach that won't leave you be. This is not good, it means I'm eating three times a day because that's what you do. So the other day I went to bed without any supper, just to see what would happen. I woke up feeling fine and I still wasn't hungry. I had breakfast though, because it is the most important meal of the day, isn't it? I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot.
Another thing I've noticed which has made me feel more motivated is a little bit of stretching in the morning, nothing special, a few shoulder rolls, a couple of deep breaths whilst raising my arms above my head. It feels great. I thought I'd do yoga in my ideal world, but I have to admit to myself I can't be bothered, I don't have the space in my room and the idea of throwing myself around first thing in the morning is less attractive than putting the kettle on and having a nice cup of tea.
I also decided to stop standing on the scales and to measure my success by the clothes I can't get into, or which I'm insisting on wearing even though they restrict my circulation and prevent me from sitting down comfortably. I had a wedding last weekend, and in my head I was going to wear a beautiful dress which I haven't worn for a while. I put it on and was shocked to see it no longer hung gracefully from my shoulders, lightly hugging my bosom and hips before falling to the floor, it was clingy and rucked up as I walked making me feel like a badly wrapped christmas present. Needless to say I had to shelve the dress and choose another 'post maternity' item which was decidely less glamorous.
I have jeans which I can only dream about getting past my knees and a whole pile of sports clothes which are gathering dust in the back of my wardrobe. I hope, by focussing on my size rather than my weight, to overcome my propensity to get depressed and pig out on ice cream and biscuits with a dollop of nutella on top for good measure.
Wish me luck!
Let's just keep it low key, just between you, me and the garden post. I haven't even told my husband, I'm just trying to eat less daily and waiting for the fat to decide there's a better place to hang out. Preferably on someone else's chin, thighs, buttocks...
In the meantime, my game plan is this, eat everything I want but a lot less of it.
For example I started weighing my pasta the other day, I'd heard a dieting 40 yr old woman (sigh) should have a portion weighing 50grams. Try it, put 50 grammes of pasta on the scales.
It is depressing, and scary to realise I''ve been used to eating four times that amount and now I started to wonder how will I survive? Well I bulked up on the pasta sauce, all made by me so I know there's no added sugar, salt or fat in fact my hubby already guessed I was back on the dieting wagon because the pasta sauce tasted 'insipid'. He gave me a meaningful look and said, 'You're going to tell me your back on a diet again aren't you?' I replied haughtily, 'I'm not going to tell you.' by which I mean literally don't worry your pretty little head I won't bore you with the humdrum details which torture me every waking moment.
Seriously though I realised it's been years since I've actually felt hunger, I mean that empty growling feeling in your stomach that won't leave you be. This is not good, it means I'm eating three times a day because that's what you do. So the other day I went to bed without any supper, just to see what would happen. I woke up feeling fine and I still wasn't hungry. I had breakfast though, because it is the most important meal of the day, isn't it? I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot.
Another thing I've noticed which has made me feel more motivated is a little bit of stretching in the morning, nothing special, a few shoulder rolls, a couple of deep breaths whilst raising my arms above my head. It feels great. I thought I'd do yoga in my ideal world, but I have to admit to myself I can't be bothered, I don't have the space in my room and the idea of throwing myself around first thing in the morning is less attractive than putting the kettle on and having a nice cup of tea.
I also decided to stop standing on the scales and to measure my success by the clothes I can't get into, or which I'm insisting on wearing even though they restrict my circulation and prevent me from sitting down comfortably. I had a wedding last weekend, and in my head I was going to wear a beautiful dress which I haven't worn for a while. I put it on and was shocked to see it no longer hung gracefully from my shoulders, lightly hugging my bosom and hips before falling to the floor, it was clingy and rucked up as I walked making me feel like a badly wrapped christmas present. Needless to say I had to shelve the dress and choose another 'post maternity' item which was decidely less glamorous.
I have jeans which I can only dream about getting past my knees and a whole pile of sports clothes which are gathering dust in the back of my wardrobe. I hope, by focussing on my size rather than my weight, to overcome my propensity to get depressed and pig out on ice cream and biscuits with a dollop of nutella on top for good measure.
Wish me luck!
Monday, May 27, 2013
knackered!
Yesterday we went on a 'light' hike, it was actually really great., if a little rushed. We walked for four hours up hill and down dale and my Noom calculated I burnt a total of 3500 calories.
I don't know if it's accurate but I feel really good!
Haven't hopped on the scales yet, but I'm feeling confident as I have totally given up alchohol this past week and also sweet things, thanks to a yeast intolerance which has flared up again. Just the thought of setting it off is enough to put me off eating.
If I managed to get below 80 kilos I'll be dead chuffed!
I don't know if it's accurate but I feel really good!
Haven't hopped on the scales yet, but I'm feeling confident as I have totally given up alchohol this past week and also sweet things, thanks to a yeast intolerance which has flared up again. Just the thought of setting it off is enough to put me off eating.
If I managed to get below 80 kilos I'll be dead chuffed!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
choc shock
Just before I go to bed, I thought I'd share the fact I finished the enormous bar of chocolate which was lying dormant in my store cupboard and have no intention of replacing it! This alone should accelerate my weight loss substantially.
Furthermore today I went for a brisk walk pushing my baby who now weighs a good 10 kilos and pushchair, for almost 2 hours. It was sweltering so hoping for the best. However, have no plans to hop on the scales yet as seriously eating sackloads of rabbit food and miniscule portions of carbs...apart from the choc, I hope to have good news next time I dare to challenge the scales' impartial judgement...
The hardest thing is keeping the plan foremost in my mind, it's all too easy to slip back into my mad bad eating habits and only afterwards remember I was supposed to be on a diet! The other thing I'm forcing myself to do is drink litres of water. In the afternoon when I'm teaching I drink half a litre for every student, so this afternoon I had four students, that's two litres of water, innumerable trips to the loo but I feel much better for it!
Yesterday I took baby and dogs out for a long walk along the seafront, it was lovely. Sunny but with a bit of a breeze, baby fell asleep for the entire time, while me and the dogs panted along, enjoying ourselves.
Feel like getting my legs out it is so hot, but am still a bit shy. Two mozzarella white wobbly sticks holding up a fat red tomato... not a pretty image unless you're preparing fingerfood for Masterchef. I started yesterday with my Birkinstocks and linen trousers. My dad once noted, 'once you get your knees brown, the rest doesn't matter.' you're probably right Dad but don't want to shock the drivers and cause a pile up due to the reflection off my startling white legs.
Nighty night
Furthermore today I went for a brisk walk pushing my baby who now weighs a good 10 kilos and pushchair, for almost 2 hours. It was sweltering so hoping for the best. However, have no plans to hop on the scales yet as seriously eating sackloads of rabbit food and miniscule portions of carbs...apart from the choc, I hope to have good news next time I dare to challenge the scales' impartial judgement...
The hardest thing is keeping the plan foremost in my mind, it's all too easy to slip back into my mad bad eating habits and only afterwards remember I was supposed to be on a diet! The other thing I'm forcing myself to do is drink litres of water. In the afternoon when I'm teaching I drink half a litre for every student, so this afternoon I had four students, that's two litres of water, innumerable trips to the loo but I feel much better for it!
Yesterday I took baby and dogs out for a long walk along the seafront, it was lovely. Sunny but with a bit of a breeze, baby fell asleep for the entire time, while me and the dogs panted along, enjoying ourselves.
Feel like getting my legs out it is so hot, but am still a bit shy. Two mozzarella white wobbly sticks holding up a fat red tomato... not a pretty image unless you're preparing fingerfood for Masterchef. I started yesterday with my Birkinstocks and linen trousers. My dad once noted, 'once you get your knees brown, the rest doesn't matter.' you're probably right Dad but don't want to shock the drivers and cause a pile up due to the reflection off my startling white legs.
Nighty night
Friday, May 3, 2013
Jigging, jogging or jiggling?
I DID IT!! I actually got out of bed at 6:45am , put on my running gear and got out of the house! You can see on my FB profile where I ran, I did 2 k in 22 minutes and I have to be honest, I felt as if I was going to be sick. It reminded me of being at school and being forced to do the 3000 metres or whatever it was, agony. I stopped smoking 12 years ago but my rasping breath burning, my tight lungs bursting this morning made me think perhaps I'm a sleepsmoker? Now if I were a sleepwalker that'd be a sure fire way to burn up extra calories without worrying about it, unless I went to the cupboards and ate, I read about that once, must be terrible. Just imagine, you get up for breakfast and open the cupboards and discover someone has eaten all your breakfast cereal, you can't understand it of course and it's YOU...scary!
Unfortunately that isn't my problem, I am perfectly aware of stuffing food into my fat gob, it's just easier to deny it. When I saw the photos of myself, full length at the barbeque last Wednesday I cringed. You know when I look in the mirror that isn't what I see. How come?
I need to print that pic out and stick it on the fridge!
Look on the plus size, oops I meant plus side... At least I burned up 137 calories this morning dragging my sorryself around the block. Isn't that depressing? 137 calories?! What a load of crap! I'd rather stay in bed and sleep if that is all my running amounts to, and then to top it off the noom says 'well done, you burnt 137 calories, that's three oranges' and you're like, 'brilliant, that really gets me motivated.' 3 damned oranges!? come on! I need to hear more than that! Like 'that's a large glass of red wine and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps'.
Well I guess I need to try again and go for a bit longer the next time, maybe if I keep it up eventually it will say something more exciting.
Here you can see me as I have refused to see myself...bulges and all! Hopefully these images will motivate me to eat more healthily.
I'm going to go back to the Noom, which helped me lose all the weight the last time, it's just the new programme isn't my cup of tea, I preferred the old one. Oh well, any port in a storm!
Unfortunately that isn't my problem, I am perfectly aware of stuffing food into my fat gob, it's just easier to deny it. When I saw the photos of myself, full length at the barbeque last Wednesday I cringed. You know when I look in the mirror that isn't what I see. How come?
I need to print that pic out and stick it on the fridge!
Look on the plus size, oops I meant plus side... At least I burned up 137 calories this morning dragging my sorryself around the block. Isn't that depressing? 137 calories?! What a load of crap! I'd rather stay in bed and sleep if that is all my running amounts to, and then to top it off the noom says 'well done, you burnt 137 calories, that's three oranges' and you're like, 'brilliant, that really gets me motivated.' 3 damned oranges!? come on! I need to hear more than that! Like 'that's a large glass of red wine and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps'.
Well I guess I need to try again and go for a bit longer the next time, maybe if I keep it up eventually it will say something more exciting.
I'm going to go back to the Noom, which helped me lose all the weight the last time, it's just the new programme isn't my cup of tea, I preferred the old one. Oh well, any port in a storm!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
to run or not to run...
I am avoiding the scales like the plague!
I am also avoiding pasta, cake, chocolate and biscuits, but the occasional one does slip under the radar I must admit. Today I was falling asleep during my lessons so I made a cup of tea and wolfed down a couple of biscuits for a quick sugar fix. Got me back on track. Baby woke up every hour last night, I think he's teething, and so today was particularly difficult, plus the temperature at 2pm was over 30 degrees, and there I was nodding in my chair!
I still haven't managed to move my buns yet, But tommorrow am planning to haul my lazy bones out of bed early and go for a run-shuffle-jiggle, just have to okay it with hubby first as will be leaving him to be baby's minder.
Hopefully then tomorrow I'll be able to surprise everyone with my shocking running stats! (as well as shocking the cellulite which appears to have taken up permanent residence over two thirds of my body!)
By the way, for my birthday I got three sets of exercise clothes!! A hidden message or what!? One was even an M which was hilariously funny...
I am also avoiding pasta, cake, chocolate and biscuits, but the occasional one does slip under the radar I must admit. Today I was falling asleep during my lessons so I made a cup of tea and wolfed down a couple of biscuits for a quick sugar fix. Got me back on track. Baby woke up every hour last night, I think he's teething, and so today was particularly difficult, plus the temperature at 2pm was over 30 degrees, and there I was nodding in my chair!
I still haven't managed to move my buns yet, But tommorrow am planning to haul my lazy bones out of bed early and go for a run-shuffle-jiggle, just have to okay it with hubby first as will be leaving him to be baby's minder.
Hopefully then tomorrow I'll be able to surprise everyone with my shocking running stats! (as well as shocking the cellulite which appears to have taken up permanent residence over two thirds of my body!)
By the way, for my birthday I got three sets of exercise clothes!! A hidden message or what!? One was even an M which was hilariously funny...
Monday, April 29, 2013
Getting heavier! AArrgh!
Depressing news!
I now weigh 84.4 kilos! The proof is in the eating, in fact, I can try to deny that I have been overindulging but the scales do not lie!
To top it off yesterday I decided SERIOUSLY to get back on track, and my hubby came home with 3 cartons of ice cream and 5 packets of biscuits, FIVE!! I was like, 'thanks a bunch matey...' . I suppose he could argue that usually I greet him with open arms when he comes home with shopping like that, and I'm thinking it's a test of my will power. For example, he made me a cup of tea and brought me four biscuits, I managed to eat only two and did feel very proud of myself. Although I appreciate small pigeon steps (do you remember that game!?) are better than none, but I'd rather move a bit faster. I accept if I'm serious I need to get off my fat wobbly arse, but honestly, I'm not making excuses, it's practically impossible to find the time. BUT I will try, I promise to myself, ( and to you...).
Positive thinking is the key!
I now weigh 84.4 kilos! The proof is in the eating, in fact, I can try to deny that I have been overindulging but the scales do not lie!
To top it off yesterday I decided SERIOUSLY to get back on track, and my hubby came home with 3 cartons of ice cream and 5 packets of biscuits, FIVE!! I was like, 'thanks a bunch matey...' . I suppose he could argue that usually I greet him with open arms when he comes home with shopping like that, and I'm thinking it's a test of my will power. For example, he made me a cup of tea and brought me four biscuits, I managed to eat only two and did feel very proud of myself. Although I appreciate small pigeon steps (do you remember that game!?) are better than none, but I'd rather move a bit faster. I accept if I'm serious I need to get off my fat wobbly arse, but honestly, I'm not making excuses, it's practically impossible to find the time. BUT I will try, I promise to myself, ( and to you...).
Positive thinking is the key!
Monday, April 22, 2013
Wishing you all a good start to a new week, unlike me! I have been baking, and eating cake and tasting cake fillings and creams all day.
Needless to say I have no intention of weighing myself tomorrow. Furthermore, due to rain stopping play, we stayed in all day so less than no exercise.
Well I did manage to pair a bag of odd socks which made me feel worthwhile, but as far as being an inspiring weight loss blog, can't get much further away today, I'm afraid.
Why am I baking cakes when I'm on a diet? In a couple of days it's a national holiday here, Liberation Day, which also happens to fall on my birthday, and we're having a mega party- not to celebrate my birthday, just an excuse to get together with friends and relax and eat a lot. So I decided to bake a cake which represents my dream house, because the land we've bought it for eventually building our own house, and while we're waiting for planning permission I thought I'd dream in 3D!
And also I love cake, both eating it and baking it!
I'll try not to actually put weight ON but I'll be greatly surprised if I manange to lose any!
'Til the next post, blogfollwers!
Needless to say I have no intention of weighing myself tomorrow. Furthermore, due to rain stopping play, we stayed in all day so less than no exercise.
Well I did manage to pair a bag of odd socks which made me feel worthwhile, but as far as being an inspiring weight loss blog, can't get much further away today, I'm afraid.
Why am I baking cakes when I'm on a diet? In a couple of days it's a national holiday here, Liberation Day, which also happens to fall on my birthday, and we're having a mega party- not to celebrate my birthday, just an excuse to get together with friends and relax and eat a lot. So I decided to bake a cake which represents my dream house, because the land we've bought it for eventually building our own house, and while we're waiting for planning permission I thought I'd dream in 3D!
And also I love cake, both eating it and baking it!
I'll try not to actually put weight ON but I'll be greatly surprised if I manange to lose any!
'Til the next post, blogfollwers!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
I made the mistake of standing on the scales this morning, convinced that my swimming yesterday had paid off. Nothing has changed, still 83 kilos. bah!
So I finished a bit of chocolate, baked two cakes and for supper drank 3 glasses of red wine. Feeling very peeved.
Apart from that I tried to do some sit ups but at twenty had to stop and I fell asleep outside in the garden on my exercise mat. Delicious snooze, very refreshing, but hardly any calories burned.
Oh well. 'Tomorrow is another day' as Scarlett O'Hara said, and I'll face it with courage and spirit!
So I finished a bit of chocolate, baked two cakes and for supper drank 3 glasses of red wine. Feeling very peeved.
Apart from that I tried to do some sit ups but at twenty had to stop and I fell asleep outside in the garden on my exercise mat. Delicious snooze, very refreshing, but hardly any calories burned.
Oh well. 'Tomorrow is another day' as Scarlett O'Hara said, and I'll face it with courage and spirit!
Friday, April 19, 2013
Day of freedom
Today was wonderful! My husband took our son to his grandma's house for the whole day, so I finally got my bike out, put my swimming gear in the pannier and went to the pool!
What a fantastic feeling, stretching my arms out in front of me and pulling my blubber through the water. In less than 5 minutes all my muscles were burning and I was gasping and huffing like Thomas the tank engine.
But I was loving it, 30 minutes up and down and I didn't stop at all. Well apart from when I crashed into the lady with whom I was sharing the lane. She was slower than me, (and thankfully also fatter which made me feel like sylph-like) and we kept blundering into each other until the lifeguard told us which sides to stay to.
So I'm feeling slimmer already! I swear my jeans are hanging baggily on my thunder thighs. I also ate less which is great. No breakfast because I didn't want to get indigestion. Three pieces of fruit when I got home and half a litre of water, lunch some ragu which I made yesterday and a thin slice of homemade bread, tonight a plate of pasta and tomato sauce and a glass of wine, with a small(ish) piece of chocolate as a treat.
As I heaved my bulk out of the pool, the 20 somethings in the other lanes who were flirting with the lifeguard looked me up and down, noting smugly my cellulite pocked wobbly thighs, bulging belly and flaccid butt cheeks. I remembered being so sure and arrogant at twenty too, and reminded myself that they too will look like me one day.
That made me feel a lot better.
Husband has agreed to take son off my hands tommorrow too, so will whizz down to the pool again and try to tone up the batwings under my arms while improving my health in general.
It really has given me a buzz, I must admit. Feeling much more positive than I have for a while. I CAN do this! Come on Hardiman!! Go girl!
What a fantastic feeling, stretching my arms out in front of me and pulling my blubber through the water. In less than 5 minutes all my muscles were burning and I was gasping and huffing like Thomas the tank engine.
But I was loving it, 30 minutes up and down and I didn't stop at all. Well apart from when I crashed into the lady with whom I was sharing the lane. She was slower than me, (and thankfully also fatter which made me feel like sylph-like) and we kept blundering into each other until the lifeguard told us which sides to stay to.
So I'm feeling slimmer already! I swear my jeans are hanging baggily on my thunder thighs. I also ate less which is great. No breakfast because I didn't want to get indigestion. Three pieces of fruit when I got home and half a litre of water, lunch some ragu which I made yesterday and a thin slice of homemade bread, tonight a plate of pasta and tomato sauce and a glass of wine, with a small(ish) piece of chocolate as a treat.
As I heaved my bulk out of the pool, the 20 somethings in the other lanes who were flirting with the lifeguard looked me up and down, noting smugly my cellulite pocked wobbly thighs, bulging belly and flaccid butt cheeks. I remembered being so sure and arrogant at twenty too, and reminded myself that they too will look like me one day.
That made me feel a lot better.
Husband has agreed to take son off my hands tommorrow too, so will whizz down to the pool again and try to tone up the batwings under my arms while improving my health in general.
It really has given me a buzz, I must admit. Feeling much more positive than I have for a while. I CAN do this! Come on Hardiman!! Go girl!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
every step you take...
Apparently the recommended number of steps per day is 10,000.
10,000!
Do you know how hard that is!?
On Monday I counted my steps using an app for my tab and walking to the supermarket and back was a measly 3,000.
Tuesday I managed 5,000 because I went for a long walk along the sea front. I was out for about an hour and a half!
So I reckon to reach 10,000 you have to be a lady of leisure! Or the opposite, that you spend all day running from place to place...
Yesterday I managed 5,000 steps in the morning as had a few errands to run locally, but we were invited to dinner in the evening where I was presented with four types of homemade pizza, home grown olives, artichokes in oil, home made wine and grappa. I managed not to overdo it, but still daren't step on the scales.
Apart from that, I'm eating lots of fresh fruit and veg, now the hot weather is here that is much easier. just need to find the time and the energy to up the exercise!
Pulled out my bag of summer clothes last night and found some jeans which I was unable to get into! This is the kind of challenge I like, something tangible, not a number on the scales which seems at times so unfair! You know how it is, you're convinced you've been careful and the bloody thing says you put on! Or when you decide to have a drastic haircut and nothing even registers, what is that all about!?
So I'm hanging the jeans up on my wardrobe door and from time to time will give them a try. Right now, just holding them up against my blubbery thighs I can see that they're missing about 5cm of material from the top of each leg.
I will measure myself and post it here too so we can track the (disappearing) flabby bits.
BUST; 106cm (41.7in)
BACK; 89cm (35in)
WAIST; 90cm!! (slack stomach muscles bulging out over the top of trousers!) (35.4 in)
HIPS;116cm (45.7in)
LEFT UPPER ARM; 35cm (13.8in)
RIGHT UPPER ARM; 34cm (13.4in)
L THIGH IN FATTEST PLACE; 65cm (25.6in)
R THIGH IN FATTEST PLACE; 68cm (26.8in)
L CALF;37cm (14.56in)
R CALF 38cm (14.96in)
Ok, so those are the damning stats...I can hardly believe my stomach is actually bigger than my back! because from the front it doesn't look like that!
Ok, off to eat a slice of cake then to cheer myself up...
10,000!
Do you know how hard that is!?
On Monday I counted my steps using an app for my tab and walking to the supermarket and back was a measly 3,000.
Tuesday I managed 5,000 because I went for a long walk along the sea front. I was out for about an hour and a half!
So I reckon to reach 10,000 you have to be a lady of leisure! Or the opposite, that you spend all day running from place to place...
Yesterday I managed 5,000 steps in the morning as had a few errands to run locally, but we were invited to dinner in the evening where I was presented with four types of homemade pizza, home grown olives, artichokes in oil, home made wine and grappa. I managed not to overdo it, but still daren't step on the scales.
Apart from that, I'm eating lots of fresh fruit and veg, now the hot weather is here that is much easier. just need to find the time and the energy to up the exercise!
Pulled out my bag of summer clothes last night and found some jeans which I was unable to get into! This is the kind of challenge I like, something tangible, not a number on the scales which seems at times so unfair! You know how it is, you're convinced you've been careful and the bloody thing says you put on! Or when you decide to have a drastic haircut and nothing even registers, what is that all about!?
So I'm hanging the jeans up on my wardrobe door and from time to time will give them a try. Right now, just holding them up against my blubbery thighs I can see that they're missing about 5cm of material from the top of each leg.
I will measure myself and post it here too so we can track the (disappearing) flabby bits.
BUST; 106cm (41.7in)
BACK; 89cm (35in)
WAIST; 90cm!! (slack stomach muscles bulging out over the top of trousers!) (35.4 in)
HIPS;116cm (45.7in)
LEFT UPPER ARM; 35cm (13.8in)
RIGHT UPPER ARM; 34cm (13.4in)
L THIGH IN FATTEST PLACE; 65cm (25.6in)
R THIGH IN FATTEST PLACE; 68cm (26.8in)
L CALF;37cm (14.56in)
R CALF 38cm (14.96in)
Ok, so those are the damning stats...I can hardly believe my stomach is actually bigger than my back! because from the front it doesn't look like that!
Ok, off to eat a slice of cake then to cheer myself up...
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Boston prayers
My heart goes out to all those affected by the tragic massacre at Boston.
My ridiculous preoccupation with weight loss pales into insignificance.
Prayers and love to all
My ridiculous preoccupation with weight loss pales into insignificance.
Prayers and love to all
Sunday, April 14, 2013
So, it's the end of a long hard Sunday. Traditionally the 'day of rest', for me it's become the day of 'do the rest of the stuff you don't find time to do during the week'. Which means cleaning, washing, trying to have some family time, but very little relaxing.
One really positive thing, thanks to you guys, is that I actually managed to keep my food intake under control. Well, not exactly UNDER control, I suppose sitting down beside me control, but anyway much better than usual. Let me explain; my Mother-in Law is a fantastic cook and is also capable of feeding a horde of starving vikings without so much as working up a sweat. I suppose bringing up 5 hungry children has something to do with this, but the down side is, when her son and I are coming to lunch she tends to overdo it slightly.
We sit down to a massive bowl of homemade pasta, something light like tortellini in brodo with lashings of parmesan cheese, followed by a second helping, (come on they need eating up!). And I dutifully do my bit. The there's 'secondo' a recently killed chicken or cockerel which got two big for its boots or a steak or a stew with floury potatoes, succulently cooked in the juices, tender carrots and then the vegetable course a wide range of fresh vegetables in season. At the moment it's artichokes, so we are offered them grilled and stuffed with garlic breadcrumbs, steamed, boiled and then simmered in rich tomato sauce, in an omelette, and you think to yourself, they're only vegetables, what harm can they do?
After this there's the salad course, fresh fennel crispy and cool, to cleanse your palate. freshly cut rocket from the garden, or a ripe tomato and onion salad, liberally doused in extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
And to wash it all down there's home made wine, cool and refreshing, home baked bread for mopping up the sauce, and
just when you think it's all over, out comes the dessert, two types of ice cream, various cakes and tarts baked fresh by her or by friends, so you just have a little taste to be polite. Finally there's a small Italian coffee, with a bit of easter egg to finish you off!
And now I think you'll understand why I am almost 20 kilos overweight, and hubby too complains about his michelin man appearance.
So today, it went quite well, I avoided second helpings, kept the oil and cheese to a minimum, didn't drink any wine and managed to have only the tiniest sliver of cake with my ice cream. Furthermore, I ate a lot of fresh fennel and rocket leaves which made me feel as if I was seriously healthy.
For our afternoon 'passeggiata' we went to a shopping centre, where I stupidly tried on a dress. I have two weddings to go to in June and am desperately seeking something to make me look better than the truth. I found a size 48 (size 16 UK readers), turquoise, simple dress, when I pulled it on, it felt pretty good too. Until I stepped in front of the mirror.
As all women know, shops don't help themselves gain customers. I mean, put some flattering lighting, get a slightly convex mirror which makes subjects appear slimmer! What does it take?!
But no, the mirror is your worst nightmare; and this one made me look like a particularly attractive German Wurstel tightly packed in blue shiny material which had had a rough journey in someone's shopping cart and had dents and bumps, lumps and creases.
Or maybe I really did look like that.
My husband tried to cheer me up, 'It'd be ok if the material was slightly different, or if the dress was a bit bigger, you know.' Yeah, I know. Let's change the subject.
So anyway, food wise today went well, but no exercise, except a bit of housework and a walk round the shops.
Here's hoping my fat cells start to give up the right to party!
I wonder how much weight I can lose before June when I go to these weddings, any bets anyone? or sensible advice? It's 8 weeks away, what is a sensible weight loss in that time? I would say 8 kilos but that feels very optomistic!? Maybe it'll be better to measure my soft flabby body and work on toning and shaping rather than losing weight only...
Well, off to sleep on it, and tomorrow I'll hopefully have made a decision!
Night all!
One really positive thing, thanks to you guys, is that I actually managed to keep my food intake under control. Well, not exactly UNDER control, I suppose sitting down beside me control, but anyway much better than usual. Let me explain; my Mother-in Law is a fantastic cook and is also capable of feeding a horde of starving vikings without so much as working up a sweat. I suppose bringing up 5 hungry children has something to do with this, but the down side is, when her son and I are coming to lunch she tends to overdo it slightly.
We sit down to a massive bowl of homemade pasta, something light like tortellini in brodo with lashings of parmesan cheese, followed by a second helping, (come on they need eating up!). And I dutifully do my bit. The there's 'secondo' a recently killed chicken or cockerel which got two big for its boots or a steak or a stew with floury potatoes, succulently cooked in the juices, tender carrots and then the vegetable course a wide range of fresh vegetables in season. At the moment it's artichokes, so we are offered them grilled and stuffed with garlic breadcrumbs, steamed, boiled and then simmered in rich tomato sauce, in an omelette, and you think to yourself, they're only vegetables, what harm can they do?
After this there's the salad course, fresh fennel crispy and cool, to cleanse your palate. freshly cut rocket from the garden, or a ripe tomato and onion salad, liberally doused in extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
And to wash it all down there's home made wine, cool and refreshing, home baked bread for mopping up the sauce, and
just when you think it's all over, out comes the dessert, two types of ice cream, various cakes and tarts baked fresh by her or by friends, so you just have a little taste to be polite. Finally there's a small Italian coffee, with a bit of easter egg to finish you off!
And now I think you'll understand why I am almost 20 kilos overweight, and hubby too complains about his michelin man appearance.
So today, it went quite well, I avoided second helpings, kept the oil and cheese to a minimum, didn't drink any wine and managed to have only the tiniest sliver of cake with my ice cream. Furthermore, I ate a lot of fresh fennel and rocket leaves which made me feel as if I was seriously healthy.
For our afternoon 'passeggiata' we went to a shopping centre, where I stupidly tried on a dress. I have two weddings to go to in June and am desperately seeking something to make me look better than the truth. I found a size 48 (size 16 UK readers), turquoise, simple dress, when I pulled it on, it felt pretty good too. Until I stepped in front of the mirror.
As all women know, shops don't help themselves gain customers. I mean, put some flattering lighting, get a slightly convex mirror which makes subjects appear slimmer! What does it take?!
But no, the mirror is your worst nightmare; and this one made me look like a particularly attractive German Wurstel tightly packed in blue shiny material which had had a rough journey in someone's shopping cart and had dents and bumps, lumps and creases.
Or maybe I really did look like that.
My husband tried to cheer me up, 'It'd be ok if the material was slightly different, or if the dress was a bit bigger, you know.' Yeah, I know. Let's change the subject.
So anyway, food wise today went well, but no exercise, except a bit of housework and a walk round the shops.
Here's hoping my fat cells start to give up the right to party!
I wonder how much weight I can lose before June when I go to these weddings, any bets anyone? or sensible advice? It's 8 weeks away, what is a sensible weight loss in that time? I would say 8 kilos but that feels very optomistic!? Maybe it'll be better to measure my soft flabby body and work on toning and shaping rather than losing weight only...
Well, off to sleep on it, and tomorrow I'll hopefully have made a decision!
Night all!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
AAARGH! just jogged, shuffled, dragged myself around the block in my tracksuit pants and running top which strangely seems too small for my bumptious curvey bits which wobble around like a tsnami in the bathtub. It's boiling outside, I'm guessing at least 25C today and while that's positive, cos it got me sweating, I don't make a very attractive picture sweating and bouncing and trying to keep my blubber from falling out all over the place.
I just say to myself it is the beginning of a new me, and while those guys outside the cafè are smirking as I run/drag myself/shuffle/sweat past, in a few weeks they'll be smirking on the other side of their faces as I effortlessly glide past, with my sleek shiny ponytail doing the only bobbing up and down...
Now, sadly, I'm going to make a cake mix because it's my birthday in 10 days and I want to make a cake with my dream house on top. but I WILL be strong and try not to lick the bowl...
I just say to myself it is the beginning of a new me, and while those guys outside the cafè are smirking as I run/drag myself/shuffle/sweat past, in a few weeks they'll be smirking on the other side of their faces as I effortlessly glide past, with my sleek shiny ponytail doing the only bobbing up and down...
Now, sadly, I'm going to make a cake mix because it's my birthday in 10 days and I want to make a cake with my dream house on top. but I WILL be strong and try not to lick the bowl...
Friday, April 12, 2013
Back in the saddle
Hi folks!
Back in the saddle after years out! Well let's recap a bit, lost loads of weight and in October 2011 got down to my goal weight 64Kilos or 10st1lb! straight after LITERALLY we discovered I was pregnant! Great joy of course at it had been one of the motivations for dieting.
But now, 18 months and one bouncing baby later, I now tip the scales at a massive 83Kilos! That's 13 stone for my UK readers! Ouch!
So here I am back on the blog, which was motivating and fun and kept me focused.
Just thinking about what I have to change...
Portion sizes- they went out of the window with the pregnancy! I had nausea all day every day and the only way to keep it at bay was to eat...(that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)
My new hobby- cake baking and making! just have to be careful about scaping the bowl, and giving my creations away!
Drink more water, and thus less tea/coffee which call out to have biscuits dunked in them...
EXERCISE the big one, with a new baby it hasn't been easy to find time to get off my butt and out of the house, but I promise now I'll start going for a brisk walk with the pushchair every morning. I did a salute to the sun the other day and felt like I'd been run over by a truck the next day!
I am still breastfeeding, and would like to continue for as least another year if possible, and I am worried that cutting down my calories will reduce milk production, we'll have to see about that.
Ok, so here goes, I'm aiming to lose 19 kilos, which is 3 stone, I reckon I should give myself a year, so that for my 42nd birthday I'll be on form!
Back in the saddle after years out! Well let's recap a bit, lost loads of weight and in October 2011 got down to my goal weight 64Kilos or 10st1lb! straight after LITERALLY we discovered I was pregnant! Great joy of course at it had been one of the motivations for dieting.
But now, 18 months and one bouncing baby later, I now tip the scales at a massive 83Kilos! That's 13 stone for my UK readers! Ouch!
So here I am back on the blog, which was motivating and fun and kept me focused.
Just thinking about what I have to change...
Portion sizes- they went out of the window with the pregnancy! I had nausea all day every day and the only way to keep it at bay was to eat...(that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)
My new hobby- cake baking and making! just have to be careful about scaping the bowl, and giving my creations away!
Drink more water, and thus less tea/coffee which call out to have biscuits dunked in them...
EXERCISE the big one, with a new baby it hasn't been easy to find time to get off my butt and out of the house, but I promise now I'll start going for a brisk walk with the pushchair every morning. I did a salute to the sun the other day and felt like I'd been run over by a truck the next day!
I am still breastfeeding, and would like to continue for as least another year if possible, and I am worried that cutting down my calories will reduce milk production, we'll have to see about that.
Ok, so here goes, I'm aiming to lose 19 kilos, which is 3 stone, I reckon I should give myself a year, so that for my 42nd birthday I'll be on form!
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